Dear First Pres,
“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense” (Proverbs 27:9).
One of the many ways that God has blessed me is with the gift of good friends. Four of those good friends are David, Jon, Josh & Ron. I first met Jon (a native of FPC Fresno) when I worked with his girlfriend (now wife), Holly, at Calvin Crest in 1996. I met Ron at Calvin Crest, too, in 1995 while he was working as the Youth Director at Sierra Vista Presbyterian Church in Oakhurst. Ron and Jon both started at Fuller Theological Seminary in 1999. When I arrived in 2000, I was introduced to a few of their new friends, David and Josh. Our friendship was developed through intramural sports, school work, and plenty of meals together. Then, as we graduated we went our separate ways.
In the fall of 2004, Ron got married and we all showed up. It was there, after not being together for a few years, that we made a covenant. That first version of the covenant was to simply prioritize spending a few days together in 2005, which we did. And then, because of the richness of our fellowship, we decided to make a bigger commitment: an annual retreat together for fellowship, encouragement, counsel and restoration.
This year was our 20th retreat, so we went big. David is now a professor at Keble College (part of the University of Oxford). He’s been there for five years, and none of us had yet seen his new home. So, last week, Ron, Josh, Jon and I flew to England for a special retreat. In this unique location, we spent time doing the tourist things (seeing Oxford, walking the public footpaths in the Cotswolds, exploring London).
And we also spent focused time on each individual – a time for each man to share about his life over the past year followed by questions, insights, counsel and prayer from the other men. As you might imagine, these retreats over the last 20 years and the ongoing friendships that accompany them have deeply shaped me in my walk with Jesus. I’m a better husband, father, neighbor and pastor because of the input from these brothers in Christ.
Now, you might say, “That’s great, Jeremy, but why share all that with us?”
Well, first, now you know where I was last week.
Secondly, I pray it inspires you to think about your own relationships. Here are a few thoughts to consider:
Obviously, my friendship with these guys doesn’t include everyday life together. David is in Oxford, Jon is in Houston, Ron is just outside Minneapolis and Josh is in Monrovia. The blessing of distance is that I’m never tempted to lean on these guys exclusively. Instead, my friendship with them compels me to pursue others in friendship. The blessing of our friendship compels me to be that kind of blessing to others.
For example, in 2022 I began participating in another similar group of pastors from Florida, Missouri, Ohio, Tennessee and Virginia. Most of the guys in this new circle had never been part of a group like this before, and it’s been amazing to see the impact in their lives and ministries (while I am also enriched). And, one of the first things I did when I came to FPC Fresno is to start a small group gathering of guys. The gathering has shifted and morphed over the years, but for much of the last 11 years, my Wednesday nights have been committed to connecting with other men for the sake of growing together as Christ followers. Gospel-centered friendships always compel us to share the gift of friendship with others.
Beloved, this is one of the reasons why finding ways to participate and engage with FPC gatherings and ministries is so important. No friendship is automatic. It takes time and common experiences and intentionality to grow in friendship together. And friendship is absolutely essential to being a healthy follower of Jesus.
Friendship is absolutely essential in sharing the good news of Jesus with others. When we think about what it means to see God’s kingdom more and more in Fresno as it is in heaven, it includes inviting unbelievers into the fellowship of our community. Belonging is often what leads to believing.
As the Proverb says, “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense” (27:9). So, let’s be a congregation that is continually seeking to grow as friends – friends with Jesus, friends with one another, and friends with our neighbors who don’t yet believe in Jesus.
Blessings,
Jeremy
Posted by
